Tuesday, April 29, 2008


Normal is a word that I think I've always been a little obsessed with. When I was a girl I just wanted to grow up and have a "normal" family. When I was getting married I just wanted to marry someone "normal." I wanted to live in a normal house and do normal things.

I'm slowly coming to accept the fact that my childish idea of "Normal" is not something God intended for me.

Growing up, I always had to explain my abnormal family. You see, I am an only child who just happens to have two brothers. What? Yeah, doesn't make sense, huh? It was always difficult to explain to other kids why my brothers were so much older than I am, why I have nieces and a nephew who are almost the same age as me, oh and even harder than that was to explain to other kids that they are my "half-brothers."

I've never wished for a different family or for things to be any other way, but I've tried to make everything seem just as normal as everyone else's lives. I've tried to mush our family to fit into the All-American family mold.

When I married the kids dad, things were very far from normal, but again I did everything I could to make it seem as normal as possible. The marriage ended, not with the life that I had ever dreamed of creating for my kids. And I was left to pick up the very abnormal pieces.

Then along came Superman. I kept telling my friends that he was just so "normal" and he comes from the most normal family I have ever met. I love them dearly and when I am with them I just relish in their normalcy. Even for Superman's normalcy, there is no way that we will ever be able to create the ultra norm life that I fantasized about as a child.

We are a blended family! I am a working mom. I have one full time job, two part time kids and two part time step children. I make homemade bread, am starting a garden and my children go to daycare. I am a dichotomy between Carol Brady and Who's the Boss's Angela.

My life might not be the NORMAL that I fantasized about, but I am coming to realize that we are the NORMAL of the 21st century. At the fundamental level of what really matters, we are a "normal" family. We have our struggles, but when our children are in our home they are able to just be kids, we have family dinners and we are creating family traditions and memories. And more than anything there is so darn much love in our house that it is oozing out the windows and doors.

Finally, at almost 30 years old I am coming to terms with what having a normal family should really mean. And know what? I like our version of normal just fine!

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