Thursday, March 26, 2009

The Burn

Warning: I am not always a nice person! Read at your own risk!

This afternoon I was waiting for Ben to get out of school. I typically stand at the corner by the school while I wait. As I waited today, a heavy, unattractive lady walked by me with her daughter. The daughter was probably nine or ten years old. Let me describe the lady for a moment... she was in her mid to late 30's, her long brown hair was twisted on her head in a "claw" thingy. She was wearing a poop colored t-shirt and she didn't have a stitch of makeup on. She was probably 80 lbs overweight. Ok, so none of this really has to do with the story, but I think it is important to convey the full image.

As the pair walked by, I heard the daughter ask "mom, what's that mark?" It was then that my eyes locked on a mark on the ladies neck. She quickly responded with, "It's a burn from my curling iron!"


It was clearly a hickie on that woman's neck. CLEARLY a curling iron has not touched that hair recently!

I've heard of rug burns, sun burns, Indian burns... but a "sucking lips on your neck burn," that's a new one to me. Is aloe and noxema the proper course of treatment for that kind of burn as well?

For the love! If you are going to be unattractive, get a hickie on your neck and lie to your child about its origin in public... have the decency to at least try to use that curling iron to style your hair in a manor that would cover the mark... To do otherwise, is to risk causing me to vomit a little in my mouth as you walk by.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Drug money

Craig's List is one of the greatest things ever created! We have obtained some of our greatest deals from shopping on Craig's list. Recently, we have been in the market for a new patio set. We need one because we are going to have the coolest yard on the block this summer!

Today Big Ben let me know that he believed he had a set secured off Craig's list. It seemed to be exactly what we were looking for and $100 less than we planned to spend. The only problem was that it was a little tricky nailing the seller down on a time that we could pick it up. We determined that the best option was for me to leave immediately to get it... even though I generally avoid making these deals without Big Ben present.

Sarah and I jumped in the van and drove down to Lancaster, to a neighborhood I knew well, and pulled up to a house that appeared to be abandoned. Hesitantly, I got out of the van and rang the door bell. There were several fliers stuck in the screen door and the lawn had been replaced by a textured design of weeds, I was just sure that no one lived there. There was no answer. I waited and finally heard a door bang somewhere at the back of the house, so I rang the door bell again. Again, I heard the same bang, followed by a voice from the side of the house. I followed the voice.

The owner of the voice was wearing a black, long sleeve shirt. He had long, stringy, black hair and a black beard with a spot of gray right in the middle. There was so much black dye present that I was unable to discern his age. He led me around to the back of the house, past a swimming pool that was more algae than water and a backyard that was just as filled with weeds as the front yard. The patio table was fantastic. The guy was very nice and helped me load it into the van, as I tried not to get a contact high from the smell of weed that was permeating from him.

Before we left, I handed him my cash... thinking to myself, "here you go! You take my money and you go buy yourself some of the good stuff!"

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Bigs and The Littles

Big and Little is a theme around here. Big Ben is extremely tall, I'm extremely short.

Then, there is the contrast between Big Ben and Little Ben.

Now, I introduce to you the concept of Big Sarah and Little Sarah. (Who would have ever thought that our little Sarah would be the Big one?)

Little Sarah came over today to play. She might be the coolest baby ever... she's so cool, she has her very own blog.Little Sarah pointed out the "clock" to us, and the "candles" on the table. She also told us the location of her nose and her hair where. She rounded out the lesson by teaching us the sounds that cats, dogs, cows and baby chicks make. We take the lesson very seriously since it comes from a credible source, Baby Sarah lives on a farm!

My kid is famouser than your kid

(Be quiet! "famouser" is so a word!!!)
The article isn't really the point of the post. That's Ben standing there next to Kaboom... oh, yeah and those are Sarah's hands too.

Friday, March 20, 2009

A day with friends

Sarah and I spent the day yesterday with friends.

We went to Visalia to see my friend Kristen and her kids.

Sarah adores playing with her girls.

We took the kids to the park.
This baby almost makes me want a baby of my own... ALMOST!
Aspen was a tiny baby when I first met Kristen.

Sarah and Emma helped make cookies.

It was another wonderful day with great friends!

Sarah and Papa

Some things are best discussed on a walk through the fields with Papa...

I'm not sure Sarah let Papa do any talking...

... but she sure had a lot to say to him!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Headin' for the Majors

Ben's Little League practice this week was at the Minor League Stadium where his dad works.

Ben is really taking his Baseball career seriously.
However, he manages to be "Rock 'n' Roll" even on the baseball field... notice the rocker shirt.
Ben is awesome!
The kids all loved playing on the "big boy" field.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

PBS made me laugh

PBS was showing a 2 hour show about the life and performances of Victor Borge. I hadn't thought about him in years. He is hilarious! I remember watching him often growing up and my mom frequently telling me that he had been my grandmother's favorite comedian.

So, watch the clips and laugh with me! It's good medicine!

Monday, March 16, 2009


Interview with Sarah /Interview with Ben:

1. What is something mom always says to you? Eat your lunch/Good Night

2. What makes mom happy?
Cleaning our room and making our beds. /Clean my room and made my bed

3. What makes mom sad?
Not making our beds /When I smack Sarah

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
Say funny words /Say Poop Butt

5. What was mom like as a child?
First a baby then you were 4 then 1 then 2 and then you were grown up like me /*Shrug shoulders* There was hardly any TV so I don't know what you did.

6. How old is your mom?
10 /I have NO idea, probably like 30

7. How tall is your mom?
14 lbs. /Probably 3 feet, no 15 feet tall

8. What is her favorite thing to do? Set up Easter stuff. /Watch movies at night when me and Sarah are asleep

9. What does your mom do when you are not around?
Watch Biggest Loser. /Watch movies when I'm asleep

10. If your mom becomes famous, what would it be for?
Writing the President /Movie Star

11. What is your mom really good at?
Drawing Trees /Typing on the Computer

12. What is your mom not very good at?
Making cars / Not Drinking Soda

13. What does your mom do for work?
Try to get a job /Babysits Sarah

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
Beets / Beets

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
Braiding my hair /Making my bed

16. If your mom was a cartoon character, who would she be?
Abby Caddabby /The girl on Race to Witch Mountain

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Clean our room and go shopping /Play Games

18. How are you and your mom alike?
Because we have the same pants, the same color hands. / We both have hair

19. How are you and your mom different?
I'm small and my mom is big. /You're taller than me

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
By making my bed /She does stuff for me

21. What does your mom like most about Big Ben?
That he built the tree house for us. /That he is like me cause he has the same name as me and he is a nice guy

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Taco Samich for burritos / Sonic

(Interviews were completed on an individual basis. Each child had no idea how the other child answered. No answers were coerced.)

Catching Leprechauns

Ben had an optional school project to create a leprechaun trap.

He created it this weekend with his dad.
He took it to school to present it today.
He is hoping to catch a leprechaun tonight.
There are Lucky Charms to entice it.
And a little hidden hole to trap it. ...ssshhhhh.... don't tell any leprechauns the secret!

Friday, March 13, 2009

A Very Naughty Dog

Gatsby went out to go to the bathroom today. The neighbors little dog was out at the same time. Gatsby ran to meet the other dog in the road and they growled at each other.

We came back inside and a few minutes later, I noticed that Sarah put Gatsby in timeout.

In the Naughty Chair.
For 4 minutes, because Gatsby is 4 years old, just like Sarah.
I hope he has learned his lesson!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

A Year

I am notorious for short lived plans.

I have a way of starting things and then not sticking to them. I have started more diets than anyone I know, each one promising to rock my world and each one ending up rockin' it in the abyss of good intentions.

I start craft projects and never finish them. I have hoards of them... there are the Christmas ornaments that I began in 1995 and the braided rug that was started in 2005.

I start chore charts with the kids and I build fabulous routines that I am convinced will make me a more productive person, a better mom and a more fully contributing member of society.

I exercise until I start feeling better and then I quit.

I can't begin to tell you how many journals I have with only the first 4 or 5 pages filled or how many times I've made a resolution to put my shoes away each night.

I am a self-proclaimed Schemer, a Planner, an Idea Lover. I LOVE ideas. I relish the process of creating something that I think will change everything and I get excited to try it... never considering for a moment that it too will likely flop, as is my pattern.

But here today, I am proud to proclaim ONE of my ideas a terrific success! One year ago I began this little blog. I started it with the thought that it could be fun, I'd give this a try. And here I am one year later, actually still maintaining this little blog baby!

Good Job ME!!!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Donny and Marie

...oh wait, its Ben and Sarah!

but similar to the Osmonds in oh so many ways. First, the obvious fact that they are a big brother and little sister duo. The slightly less obvious fact that they are siblings who are members of the LDS (Mormon) church. But, what really made me think about the similarities this morning is that:

she'sa little bit country!

and he'sa little bit rock and roll!

This is a major trend in our house. Ben has wanted to be a rock star for the last 5 years and insists on dressing the part almost daily. Sarah, takes being a cowgirl VERY seriously and dreams about horses and rodeos.

(Ok, I realize I have compared my children to famous people in the last two posts, I promise this won't become a trend)

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Oprah's sheets

A few years ago, I remember an Oprah show in which she discussed bed sheets. Oprah stated that she adores clean sheets. She likes the crisp, cool factor that only fresh sheets can provide. Oprah enjoys this so much that she requires her staff to dress her bed in new linens every two days. This, she believes, is the optimal rotation for fresh sheet enjoyment.

I have concluded that my children believe they are Oprah and as such, clean sheets are a necessity nearly every day. They must also believe that I am their staff member and it is my job to provide this service. This is the benefit that they receive from wetting their beds, and I continue to oblige their linen demands and have learned to change sheets with the speed and skill of a maid at the Holiday Inn.

Alright, alright... I know this isn't their fault or choice and all that jazz... Yadi, Yadi, Yadi! That doesn't change the frustration level caused by this repetitive chore of mine.

I've heard older women council young moms to enjoy ever second of raising their children. "Someday you will miss the mess of toys, loads of laundry and fingerprint smudges that children create," they say. While I solemnly agree that there are many, many aspects of having small children in my home that I will miss, I am quite sure that changing sheets daily is NOT one of these things!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

A Dog's Life

Sarah LOVES dogs!

She has never met a dog she doesn't like.

On her third birthday she requested a puppy party, complete with a dog bowl for her cake.
(Sarah on her 3rd birthday)

She adores Gatsby (our dog) and wants to take him on walks twice a day.

The other day, I found Sarah sitting in Gatsby's bed while watching TV.

Who wouldn't want to be a dog? Gatsby has a comfy bed, no chores and all the attention and love of this little girl.

Thursday, March 5, 2009


I've found myself succombing to peer pressure!

At the funeral last week my cousins convinced me that Facebook is a great place to stay connected. I signed up hoping that I would just be able to stay in touch with family. Previously, I had a MySpace page and just wasn't overly impressed with it. I came home from Texas and immediately signed up for Facebook.

It didn't take me long to realize that I LOVE Facebook. It might even be bordering on an obsession. I have connected with so many people that I had lost touch with years ago. I've found lost friends, people that I had almost given up on being able to ever find again. I can't believe the connections that have been made in less than a week's time.

Today, Sarah and I went to Visalia to visit my friend Kristen. She was one of the first people I searched for on Facebook. I hadn't seen Kristen since right before Sarah was born. It was fantastic to pick up the friendship right where we left off.

Ok, so this isn't meant to be an advertisement for Facebook, but in light of the lessons I have learned over the last month. Lessons about putting off reconnections and the importance of fostering old relationships, Facebook has proven to be a blessing.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Give her my Heart

Sarah and I did a project today.
She bought the project kit from our behavior store with money she earned.
It took an hour and a half to complete her project... that's a long time for a 4 year old.

When she was halfway done, she told me she wants to send her heart to Maris, with an "I love you" note stuck in the pocket.
Distance may separate these two sisters, but they sure have a hold on each other's hearts!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Better than a sharp poke

Sarah and I went to San Antonio for a funeral and all Ben got was this pencil. I thought a new pencil would be a good thing, since he seems to have lost the point to his.

The story, according to Ben goes something like this: Ben and his bff, Emily, were working together. Ben dropped his pencil and when he bent over to pick it up, Emily took the opportunity to poke him in the bottom with her pencil. Laughing at the first grade humor of the situation Ben picked his pencil up and reached around behind him to poke at her. Unfortunately, Ben's pencil tip met up with Emily's leg and decided to break. Emily cried, denied her contribution to the situation and I got a call telling me Ben was in Big Fat Trouble.

Once again, Ben doesn't find trouble, trouble finds Ben!