Today, I had to work from home because neither of the kids have daycare. This is a tough feat in itself, trying to maintain professionalism, get my job done and be a mommy at the same time. It is a lot on the plate for one day. The kids got up, they were playing outside things were going well. That is, until lunch time. Grilled cheese and soup were on the menu. Apparently, they didn't like their soup, Ben especially. They wanted to know if they had to eat it all and I told them that they didn't, but Ben would need to take 12 large bites and Sarah would need 10. Sarah didn't have a problem with it, Ben complained about every bite. When he had taken only 6 of his bites I told him he had 6 left and he began throwing a fit, insisting that I was wrong and it was only 3 more bites he needed. Geesh, what are they teaching our kindergartners, 6+3=12? Anyway, he continued to argue. I told him that if he kept arguing he would need to eat the entire bowl and darn if the kid didn't keep arguing. A standard in our house for complaining is the threat that meals will turn in to peanut butter sandwiches (Ben's least favorite in the world) and his complaining escalated to that point. From there it turned in to a full fledged, his worst ever fit. With him throwing angry words at me such as, "I hate you. You are stupid. You think me and Sarah are stupid. Daddy is better. I just want to live at Daddy's house." No matter how much logic tells you that the words spoken in a temper tantrum don't mean anything and is just trial and error manipulation, they still have a sting to them. As he was screaming these things at me I called him over and just held him. Finally, exhausted he apologized and went back to eating his dreaded soup. I was exhausted to. It is these moments that make you question discipline, parenting, and if all of this is even worth it. Will these moments of such high stress and holding my parental ground really even matter in the long run? Then, I look at a picture like this one that I took last night after he had fallen asleep:
Yeah, it's worth it. It is all worth it to get to see that crazy boy who sleeps with his eyes cracked open, drools, wets the bed and sleeps on the end of the bed to be as close to the fan as possible. It is all worth it for the peace of knowing that he will grow up to be an incredible man someday!