Thursday, July 10, 2008

Women and Divorce

This might be a bit of a rant. If you don't know about some of the stuff that we have been dealing with with Ben's ex wife, you might think this is random... but it so isn't.

As a divorced woman with two kids there are some things that really irk me about other women in my situation. There are some questions I would like to ask them.

- Isn't it the mother and father's responsibility to support their children?
- Shouldn't an able bodied woman be capable of providing for half of the financial needs of her children? Don't they have any pride?
- What kind of mother would interfere in the relationship between her children and their father, who is a good man and good father?
- What kind of mother would be so stubborn as to make it necessary for complete strangers in the legal system to decide the fate of her children?
- Don't we as mothers have a responsibility to demonstrate an example of integrity to our children? And shouldn't that example begin with how we treat their father?
- How can anyone think that a child's father (who has played an active role since their birth) can be replaced with a step-parent?
- Why would you ever intentionally want to hurt someone who you once loved and respected enough to have children with?

I am trying to live my life by the answers to these questions. Sometimes I falter a bit, and haven't always handled every aspect of divorce the best way. But I cannot understand why people allow themselves to become so ugly in divorce, our children deserve better. Don't get me wrong, every situation is different and some divorces deal with issues I can't even begin to fathom. But fair is fair and right is right! Both parents have responsibilities to their children and children have a right to have as equal of relationship with both parents as possible!

Ok, so maybe I'm a little passionate about this. I just wish that people could see how much better it is for your children to rise above petty, selfish issues.


Diane said...

Because she is crazy...funny I just got done with an email from my ex's wife the stepmother and we know how much I LOVE HER!! Happy belated birthday I am slacker this year :(

Jenna Consolo said...


Thanks for finding my blog and saying hi! I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling through, doing my best.

mdx3mom said...

People effected by divorce sometimes forget the important things.....the children. I luckly have never had to go through a divorce but my sister has. She and her ex are actually (now) good friends. he helps her when ever he can and vise versa. They were not always that way but they realized they were better parents apart than together.

Good luck on living by your answers. And do not let the petty people bring you down.